prioritise this

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SOME CHANGES AROUND HERE

prioritisethis.substack.com

SOME CHANGES AROUND HERE

Plus, this week's newsletter – The Productivity Delusion & the consequences of an obsession with self-optimisation...

Lily Silverton
Mar 7
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SOME CHANGES AROUND HERE

prioritisethis.substack.com

pink sofa chair near body of water
Photo by Dan Gold on Unsplash

Before I dive into this week’s topic, I’d like to share with you some changes to prioritise this… I’ve been writing this newsletter every week now for six months. It’s become the place where I throw down my most personal and (I hope!) useful thoughts on what to prioritise in life. Going forward, I want to create more interaction and dialogue, and to use my skills as a coach to build a like-minded community of people who want to effect change in their lives.

So, from today, I’ll be adding the option to become a paid subscriber. (FYI this Tuesday newsletter will remain free to everyone, ad infinitum.)

What are the benefits of a paid subscription?

Firstly, you’ll be supporting me. And to be honest, writing this newsletter takes a lot of work. (Work that I love!)

Secondly, you’ll get access to exclusive coaching content, giveaways, Q&As, meditations, videos, recommendations, discounts to in-person events and a monthly virtual, live coaching session with me. So quite a lot of stuff really, for the price of a sandwich or glass of wine.

Finally, your support will mean that I can keep writing my weekly newsletter and that it will remain free for everyone else for as long as possible.

There are 3 ways to do this. A monthly subscription is £6 a month, a yearly one is a one-off fee of £60, and then there’s a Founding Membership which is £250 and includes a private, 90-minute coaching session with me.

If any of this feels like something you can do then please click on the button below.

Now of course a paying subscription is not for everyone right now. For some people any additional payment being taken out of their bank account will be a struggle. If you don’t have any discretionary income and you want to join this community then just let me know. You can support in lots of other ways - such as sharing this newsletter with people you think would like to hear about it. And here’s how you do just that…

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That’s it! I’m so grateful for all your continued support, thank you thank you. 

Now onto this week’s topic: The Productivity Delusion


I may divide you with today’s newsletter, because I’m divided myself…

One part of me still believes that if I just learnt to maximise my time and energy, I could be the BEST version of me. All I need is to do is wake up earlier, get better at using productivity tools and listen to more Diary of CEO and then, then, I’ll finally uncover the secret to living and find myself perfectly ‘hacked’ and living life to its fullest at all times. This part of me used to be quite persuasive: she even went as far as reading The 5am Club by Robin Sharma, which, as anyone who has opened it will know, is the worst book in the entire world. The writing, the plot, the whole thing – horrific.

Then there’s this other part, who regards the first one as well-intentioned but naive. Because she knows that the secret to living a full life is that there is no secret. There is no ultimate productivity tool, there is no book, no podcast, no magic formula. Don’t get me wrong, those can all be great, but at the end there is just life. And, more than that, some of the most important parts of this life are experienced in the bits between, in the being rather than the doing. (This part is also – understandably – pretty pissed at that other one for wasting hours of our life on The 5am Club.)

Now, to work out which part you most strongly identify with, ask yourself: Do I always, or almost always, feel like I must be doing something productive? Is my downtime not really downtime at all, but rather a chance for me to do something else? When is the last time I did nothing?

We are a society ruled by productivity; our culture is predicated on growth (because, capitalism) and we equate business with virtue. We feel or are made to feel that the busier we are, the more valuable we are.

And so we find ourselves obsessed with self-optimisation, efficiency and bettering our ‘selves’. Now, putting aside the immense privilege and vast inequity that means some people can spend time thinking about their ‘ideal’ morning routine while others can barely find the time or money to put breakfast on the table, I’m curious about the consequences of this obsession – both for us as individuals and as a society. What happens when we prize busyness and achievement above other more intangible, but arguably much more important things, such as kindness, fairness and health (that of our own, others’ and the planet)?

As someone whose job involves helping others realise their potential for doing what they want to do (i.e. achieving stuff), I think about it often. Of course we need goals – they not only motivate and drive us, but also make us happier. So I think we mostly run into difficulty when we place more weight on achieving goals than we do on living a life that feels joyful and purposeful regardless of whether or not we achieve them. The ultimate ‘goal’, in fact, is probably understanding that your worth and dignity are independent of your productivity – that what matters is not what you produce, but who you are.

This is no mean feat. Not only is being busy the default for most of us, productivity gives us a sense of purpose and meaning, and in some cases, allows us to avoid or escape whatever might be going on in our minds/lives.

So we count our daily steps, we listen to self-development podcasts, we fill our children’s schedule’s to the brim. But how often do we just stop? How often do we do something without a specified reason? Or with little to no outcome? How often do we take the time to listen to what we need or even focus on what the world might need, as opposed to doing what we think we should be doing?

Of course this is a complex subject. If you think about forming a new habit - present ‘you’ might not want to go to the gym but future ‘you’ knows it’ll be good for your mental and physical health. In this case, which voice am I meant to listen to?

I think it means listening to both voices, at different times (such a centre ground opinion!) The messaging of: Always Do Your Best! isn’t helpful to someone who is a productivity addict and struggles to stop and rest, but it may be helpful to someone who has excess energy that they’re not using.

What about doing the ‘productive’ stuff that you know supports your happiness and health?

Absolutely keep doing it, as long as it genuinely does support you. Working out 7 days a week, for example, isn’t sustainable for happiness or health, as what happens when you experience – as you inevitably will – an injury? Likewise, mentally beating yourself up for missing one day of meditation doesn’t suggest a healthy relationship with meditation as a tool to improve your wellbeing, but rather an ‘addiction’ tied up with some kind of sense of self-worth.

These feel like big topics for a short-ish newsletter, I think I may even continue this next week, but to finish let’s briefly explore what not being productive looks like...

How about doing something that’s just for you, that has no outcome to it and/or that you’re not doing for any specified reason? It could be baking a cake simply because you like cake. Going for a run simply to enjoy the fresh air and movement of your body. Lying down on the floor and listening to a favourite piece of music. Calling a friend in the middle of a work day because if you’re honest with yourself, you don’t actually have that much work to do that day. Crossing a ‘must watch’ off your list, because actually, you don’t want to watch it you just think you should.

In my (lived) experience, not being productive can feel uncomfortable if you’re not used to it (not a bad thing, remember). Try out different avenues to see what fits for you - it doesn’t matter what you do (or don’t do!), you’re simply looking for something that will switch on the relaxation response in your nervous system and allow your brain to decompress. Something that will provide space for the magic that comes from doing nothing.

Finally, if you believe that any time spent not productively is time wasted, then I suggest you start by adding “don’t be productive” to your To-do list. That way you can tick it off and feel productive. Win-win.

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