It’s been a long winter. But it’s okay, spring is here! The Easter weekend is nearly upon us! And this year it’ll be followed by a bounty of bank holidays (thanks Charles)! So no fear, we’re all about to get some time off. We’re going to rest and relax and generally restore our bodies and minds, right?
Wrong.
According to a number of recent studies, more than half of us struggle to unwind, even when on holiday. We might want to relax, but apparently, like a unused skill (my GCSE French, par exemple) we’re simply not very good at it any more.
Plus, the world we live in doesn’t make it easy… The demands of daily life are complicated, intense and never-ending; within the to-do lists of personal, professional and social, there’s simply little (or no) time for relaxation. And thanks to digital advancements, particularly smartphones, even when we are 'relaxing' we remain very much 'switched-on'. Add to all that our obsession with productivity, achievement and success – and the stress and anxiety that accompanies it, which actually physically interferes with the body’s relaxation mechanisms – and it’s no surprise that so many of us no longer know how to relax.
Now of course focusing on relaxation as yet another essential thing we need to do for our health (I must relax!!) doesn’t particularly help, but, relaxing is important. It prompts your brain to release endorphins (nature’s painkillers), and it slows down brain waves, making you feel calmer. Rest also helps us to think more clearly – it gives our brains the opportunity to be creative and imaginative, like Newton, coming up with his theory of gravity while chilling out under a tree. Relaxation also supports us in navigating with the demands of our fast-paced lives, and the stresses and worries we experience day-to-day – it’s a very good anti-burnout tool. There’s also what it does for our digestion, immune system, concentration, mood, pain management, energy levels, sleep quality and more…
Plus, it’s free!
The dictionary defines relaxing as “resting from work or engaging in an enjoyable activity”. Simple enough in theory, what does that look like in practice…
I know what it doesn’t look like… Watching reality TV while mindlessly scrolling through Tiktok & Instagram. If you think about it, it’s actually wild that bombarding ourselves with non-stop content and insight into other people’s lives has become how we unwind after a long day. Madness.
Instead, we’re looking for some sort of quiet, reflective downtime. A moment to consciously put aside your To-do list, deadlines and mental worries and give your mind a rest. You’re aiming for a bit more ‘being’ as opposed to ‘doing’.
There are different types of rest – mental, physical, creative, social, sensory – but in essence rest is about taking a break. And as always, different people will need (and connect with) different things at different times in life. I like puzzles, cooking, a body scan, meditation, walking aimlessly, being in nature, reading… obvious stuff. (Experienced, crucially, without phone notifications jumping out at me every few seconds.)
Relaxing is different from sleep – although I think we can all agree that’s good too. Rather, it’s about incorporating opportunities to press pause into your entire day, so that you’re less likely to feel completely drained come 7pm. So here are a few tips on how to do just that.
4 tips to help you relax
Make it a PRIORITY
Simple fact - if I don’t make rest a conscious priority, it gets relegated to the back burner of my life. As a productivity addict, I instinctively fill my (limited) free pockets of time with ‘doing’ activities, but, if I actively focus on rest (eg: write it on my to-do list for the week), I find it easier to prioritise more of the ‘being’ stuff.
Schedule it in
A friend of mine’s father is a GP and every day he takes a nap. Every day! He schedules it in and after lunch simply sets a timer and naps in his office for 30 minutes. Until we can make this mandatory practice for all (see, Japan), investigate how/where you can incorporate rest into your day - remember, even a few minutes makes a difference.
Think little and often
Please don’t wait until you feel depleted to start filling up your cup (that’s a plea to myself, FYI). Plan short breaks throughout the day (see above) and plan ahead for when you might need to take a few days (or half a morning) off. Oh and don’t let other people’s needs eat into your rest time (easier said than done…) Like any skill - the more you relax, the more it will become second-nature to your life.
Ditch the guilt
We’re told to create a life we don’t need a break from (don’t live for the holidays, experts say!) but the reality is that being busy is still a badge of honour in our society – we live in an ‘always on’ culture that doesn’t value rest. So, be the change you wish to see and embrace the fact that being busy doesn’t necessarily mean being productive. Build rest into your day, without much guilt and tell everyone about it - spread the gospel and make doing ‘nothing’ celebrated in your social circle.
PS. To aid your relaxation journey - get paid to read in bed.
Are you any good at relaxing? Share with us how you relax below.