Why is change so hard?

And a proven way to make it easier...

Hi, quickly – I’m looking for three people to try out a quiz I’ve created as part of the final project for my neuroscience training… It’s designed to identify the intervention methods and strategies that will give you the best chance of sticking with a habit. Only takes a few minutes, hit it reply if you’d like to give it a go x

I thought today I’d jot down some thoughts on change…

First: why is it so bloody difficult!?

Well, as I’ve said before, your brain craves familiarity. It prefers to stick with what it knows as that requires less energy and is less dangerous. Big changes threaten it, so it tries to steer you away from them.

On top of that you have the annoying fact that information does not change behaviour. If it did, there’d be no need for this newsletter (or my job!) I could simply tell you why something is good for you and then… off you’d go! The NHS would be saved. We’d all be hydrated. No-one would smoke. I’d never forget to floss…

But that’s not how it works. Studies have repeatedly shown that increasing someone’s health knowledge alone doesn’t reliably lead to behavioural change, and I imagine it holds true for you on a personal level as well. We all know we’re supposed to drink water, stretch, sleep more, move, be self-compassionate and all the rest... It’s just that knowing isn’t really enough.

Finally, motivation is wildly unreliable. Yes it’s great when it arrives, and yes there are ways to increase it, but ultimately it can’t be trusted. Motivation comes in waves, spikes and dips, and is hugely affected by stress, sleep, hormones, blood sugar and more. Too often we rely too much on our willpower.

Okay, what does make it easier?

The astronaut Chris Hadfield once explained that when you’re in space and something goes wrong: "You don’t rise to the challenge, you fall back on your systems".

What a brilliant quote.

And, very simply, the same is true of behaviour and mindset change.

You don’t rely on your ability to think on your feet, you create systems and processes and then lean heavily on them to help you achieve whatever it is you’re hoping to achieve.

Luckily, there are many systems to choose from in coaching, from health psychology models to self-monitoring exercises. Here’s one I love to use:

The COM-B Model

This system looks at how, in order to perform or change any behaviour, three things need to be in place:

• Capability – your physical and psychological abilities in relation to a behaviour. i.e., Can I do this?

• Opportunity – the aspects of your environment (social and physical) that make a behaviour easier i.e., Is my outer world making it possible?

• Motivation – what makes you want to perform a behaviour i.e., Do I want to do this above all else?

If you don’t have the abilities/skill (capability), the conditions (opportunity), or the drive (motivation), you won’t do the thing. It doesn’t necessarily indicate a lack of willpower. It can be as simple as a mismatch between what you want and what’s possible right now.

(And yes, I know I literally just said motivation is fickle. I’m holding fast on that. The use of the word Motivation in the COM-B model is a little different from the traditional use. I won’t bore you with the details here though.)

So if you’re looking to make a change, whether it’s banishing an old thought or creating a new habit, I’d recommend leaning on this system.

Ask yourself: are those three things are in place? If the answer is no, ask what you can do to get them closer?

Lay the groundwork for change, and the change will be easier to make.

If you try this model I’d love to hear how you get on!

L. x