Getting Comfortable With Being Uncomfortable
Getting Comfortable With Being Uncomfortable
Why stepping outside your comfort zone is good for your brain.
Hey! I’m running a series of mindset talks based on my podcast for The London EDITION hotel. First one is March 13th – I’ll be joined by Steven McRae and we’ll be talking building RESILIENCE in modern life. Tickets here, I really hope you can join us.
I’ve done yoga for 25+ years now, and as with any long-term relationship, my love for the physical ‘asana’ aspect of it ebbs and flows. Sometimes I practice often, at others barely at all.
However, for the most part, the mental lessons (aka: the shit that actually matters) hold fast. I try to think flexibly, lead with compassion, accept that pain is part of life. (Note, try. I definitely don’t succeed.)
And one of the most valuable, life-changing lessons that yoga has taught me is that: being comfortable with being uncomfortable will improve your mind.
Whether it’s physical discomfort – trying a new posture you’re scared of – or mental discomfort – facing the fear of sitting still with your mind in meditation – yoga is full of uncomfortable moments. Or, as I like to think of them (because I’m that annoying person) opportunities for growth.
And, I’m not wrong! Neuroscientists have proven that getting uncomfortable by stepping out of your comfort zone is what triggers the rewiring of your brain, a concept also known as neuroplasticity i.e. the brain’s ability to reorganise and form new connections and pathways between its cells.
Increasing neuroplasticity – building as many new pathways as possible — is what helps the brain stay sharp and healthy; it’s the key to enhancing cognitive function and memory, learning more effectively and generally preventing degeneration. Conversely, if we always follow the same routine with the same repetitive habits, our lazy brain gets too comfortable and stops stretching, working and “building”.
Anecdotally, that rings true. There is a certain strength and life-satisfaction that emerges from doing things that are difficult. In the same way that physically testing your limits is the only way to grow muscles, improve cardiovascular capabilities or help flexibility, mentally stretching yourself clearly has similar, positive consequences for your mind.
Now, I think it’s worth saying that you may feel as if you have more than enough discomfort in your life as it is. When I was pregnant with Zev and in constant physical pain from PGP and my toddler was annoying and father was ill, the idea of needing to get outside my comfort zone was laughable. I was living discomfort.
But, if you’re not, and you’re also feeling a bit stagnant, then perhaps some gentle boundary pushing is just what you need…
It’s very Stoic, this voluntary discomfort thing – they were always deliberately exposing themselves to adversity in order to (supposedly) expand their comfort zone and prepare for future adversity. It was all about building tolerance for them.
And this makes a lot of sense in terms of training our mindset... Train delay = test of patience. Rude person = test of how I can measure my responses, plus increases my capacity to deal with difficult people. There are so many more examples of this - but essentially it’s about reframing hard situations.
Personally, I think I mostly use discomfort as a confidence booster. If I pitch a feature to a magazine (effectively Rejection Therapy, on repeat), swim in cold water (Lido was 6 degrees this morning, thanks Sele for re-introducing me to this!) or sit with some of my most uncomfortable thoughts & feelings (rather than trying to distract myself), afterwards, or at some point in the future, I feel more fully that I can do hard things. I have more confidence in myself and my capacity to withstand discomfort and difficulty. Discomfort gives me a resilience and a mental boost that I don’t get from anything else. It expands what I believe I’m capable of, and helps me to grow and thrive as a person (both for myself and those around me.) Ultimately it helps me be better at being me.
What about you? Does any of this resonate? If so, how could you step outside your comfort zone today?
(PS If you’re interested in going a bit deeper into this topic, check out this TED talk by Luvvie Ajayi Jones and/or this book by Farrah Storr.)
I resonate with this a lot!
I have recently discovered Stoicism and trying to practice it.
As much as I love how I feel after yoga, it is definitely a discomfort training for me, since many poses are quite uncomfortable for me, and therefore I often find myself looking for excuses to skip my practice. What helps is if I remind myself of my purpose behind it, and also reframing it in a stoic way, like you described, that this is my mindset test, an opportunity to show myself that I can do it.
This is especially difficult to practice in situations with challenging people, and these are usually the situations where I tend to lose my “Stoic ambitions” 😂😅 but what hugely motivates me to become better at this is when I imagine myself always staying calm when someone is being provocative. This is a super useful life skill, that the majority of us don’t have, so mastering it would be a big achievement! This motivates quite a lot.
I really resonate with this! And I find yoga’s brilliant for training your discomfort edge as you can control how far you dive in, and slowly build it up. Unlike life, which can sometimes chuck you straight in the deep end! Today I definitely stepped out of my comfort zone - by pitching an article to a magazine!!